I'M HORNY GET ME OUT OF HERE!

You've drunk some red wine, and have been flirting madly for hours: you know you want them (naked) and you're pretty sure that they want you too. How do you get them away from the bar, and into your bedroom though?

Here are our top three techniques for getting your date back to your place; before you have the chance to yell 'bill please!'

  1. Make references to your home that aren't related to them: Telling your hot hook-up how you'd love to see them spread eagled on your futon may be what you're thinking, but this can be too full on for a lot of people: and actually scare them off. Instead create an erotic and enticing picture of your home. You want them to feel like they know it already, so that they're most at ease with going back there. Talk about the great party you had in your back garden last summer, how you've got this awesome rare vodka from your trip to Poland, and how you love the area you live in. Always talk positively about your home: too much modesty (even if it is a little bijou!) won't encourage your date back home with you. Enthusiasm is contagious too; so it will make them more ready to want to see it. Always talk generally though, about how much you like your place, and not how much you think they'd like it. Let them come to their own conclusions and you will seem far less pushy.
  2. Make the place you're in drool, and your place seem very cool: The flipside of emphasising the benefits of your place, is to be subtly negative about the place you're in at the moment. Maybe it's too noisy, and you can't hear them properly. Maybe it's too busy full of non-deviant people, and you're struggling to behave. Maybe you know somewhere where you can have a lot more fun… Be careful when you're doing this to not be too negative. Make the references subtle. Also only tell them what you're doing, and don't tell them what they're going to do (unless you've already established that they're your servant). Instead be strong enough in your own opinions (that you're going to head home in a bit to your Polish vodka) that they'll feel compelled to follow.
  3. Do a drop off: The ultimate in sneaky tricks. Set your date, or meet-up, location really close to where your house is. This is a small thing called logistics. If your house is five minutes, not five miles, away the chances of them coming back with you to check it out are much higher. Then before you take them to your local, stop off at your house to pick up your jacket/ wallet etc. This allows them to check out your pad beforehand so they know what it's like. If they've already seen your place they're much more likely to return there (just as long as you tidied those dirty dishes away beforehand…)

So, if you want to hook up with someone on night one remember the three key tricks:

  • You make your decisions- they make theirs. Don't pressurise them to come home with you.
  • Your place is awesome. Fact.
  • Location, location, logistics.